At work, we encounter all sorts of people — for better or worse. In general, most people are good-natured and operate in good faith, treating others with respect to create a comfortable working environment.
Workplace bullying is nothing new. Years ago, it might have been an older or more senior employee making a younger employee feel small, criticizing them in front of other people or even making them cry. And it happened in person.
That is definitely not the case today. If someone feels mistreated at work, they can pull out their phone and tell hundreds or thousands of people about it before they even get home. Suddenly, a problem between two people at work can become a problem for the employer’s brand. And none of us can afford that, especially when good employees are hard to find and even harder to keep.
At my own company, I work hard to create an environment where people feel comfortable, telling me how they feel, rather than telling their peers or their social media network.
What constitutes bullying
What is bullying? It is likely to involve a pattern of bad behavior, including intimidation and humiliation. Office bullies seek to undermine their colleagues or subordinates, and it usually doesn’t happen just once.
Whether it’s belittling another person or undermining their efforts to succeed at work, bullying tends to become a trend — day in, day out.
Practical steps
Here are some ways to deal with bullying in the workplace.
• Distinguish bullying from ordinary workplace friction. We are all human beings, and work environments can become tense, especially when there is stress to meet a deadline or make a boss happy. However, not everything rises to the definition of “bullying.” One disagreement, a critical comment, or a dirty look isn’t necessarily an example of bullying.
• Learn the whole story. Whether you’re a leader or a colleague, it is easy to spot blatant bullying, but there is often a gray area for behavior that doesn’t quite cross the threshold. In such cases, it is important not to assume without knowing the facts. Before being judgmental, bystanders should be curious, assessing the situation before responding impulsively. There may be something going on that you don’t yet know about.
• If you’re the target, document patterns. Don’t just internalize your feelings and keep events in your head. Make notes of specific dates and times, writing down what happened, who witnessed it (if anyone), and how you responded. Written documentation is critical if bullying is to ever get reported to a supervisor or human resources. Bringing specific facts to HR, rather than general accusations, is the way to go.
• Don’t become part of the audience. Workplace bullying often gains power because other people laugh, participate in gossip, remain silent, or look the other way. Colleagues can change the dynamic by refusing to participate and supporting the person being targeted, so bullies know that their behavior won’t go unchecked.
• Speak out for others. Bullies often target people when they feel like they can get away with it. If you see bullying, it is the right thing for a colleague to address the situation. The best approach is to address specific actions instead of labeling the person. Confront the bully to correct behavior, not just call them out. Instead of saying, “You’re a bully,” try something more constructive. Example: “When you criticize her in front of the team rather than speaking with her privately, that’s not acceptable.”
Culture starts at the top
Colleagues can only do so much, so it is up to leaders to notice bullying and root it out. This means recognizing patterns.
If one employee repeatedly belittles someone, takes credit for their work, excludes them, spreads rumors, embarrasses them publicly, or tries to damage their reputation, a manager shouldn’t dismiss it as a “personality conflict.”
People can disagree, challenge ideas and hold one another accountable while still treating each other with dignity.
