Common cents | Some money-saving tips are anything but practical
I’m often reminded of what my grandfather said about the Great Depression: It wouldn’t have been so bad here in Maine, John, if it hadn’t come on the heels of such hard times. The idea being that Maine’s economy has never been the greatest, even when the rest of the country is in the best of times.
I know you’re not supposed to explain things like my grandfather’s saying; you’re just supposed to let the reader do with them what he or she will, but I thought it might help in this particular case.
Combined with any discussion of the high cost of health care is talk about how its soaring costs can be controlled and how people can save money on other things in order to have money to spend on more important things — like health care.
You can’t open a newspaper or magazine these days without seeing articles on how to save money during these “hard times.” Of course, the newspaper or magazine wants you to use the money you save with their handy tips to buy more newspapers and magazines, or, better yet, buy ads in their publication. But hey, at least they’re trying to help you save.
A newspaper over in western Maine was running one money-saving tip a day, and they had one recently that made me laugh out loud and wonder how it made it by the copy desk. I figured a copy editor with a good sense of humor just let it slip through.
The idea was to save on hair care by doubling up with a friend when it’s time to dye your hair because, they argued, it’s a well-known fact that two average-sized heads can be dyed with the contents of one package of hair dye. If you have an “average-sized” head and a friend with the same, you both just need to agree on a color to dye your hair.
The friend would also have to be on the same weekly or monthly dying schedule and willing to get together on a regular basis at a prearranged place and time to conduct the hair-dying procedure. If you don’t have such a friend, you’ll have to find one — probably on Craigslist — in order to take advantage of this money-saving tip.
Some might think the few bucks you’d save aren’t worth the hours of logistical planning that would have to precede such a money-saving operation. Maybe it’s just me, but that sounds like an awful lot of trouble to go through. As one who is satisfied with my naturally silver hair, I don’t imagine I’ll be using this tip anytime soon.
Some money-saving tips — like take a bus to work instead of a taxi — mean nothing to people who live in Maine. Here we only have a few cities that have anything resembling public transportation, and we can only chuckle over such a suggestion. Here in Maine, with so many people living on islands and commuting to mainland jobs, a money-saving tip might be: Buy a rugged 12-foot skiff with a reliable outboard motor and use that to get to work on the mainland. Save even more by rowing to work across the choppy waters of the Gulf of Maine. Better yet, take a kayak to work instead of a row boat or ferry. But before beginning a commute-by-kayak regimen, be aware that lobstermen, fishermen and others who work on the water refer to kayaks as “speed bumps.”
One of the worst money-saving ideas of the lot suggested that readers get their books from the library instead of buying them at a bookstore near them. Don’t get me wrong, I love libraries and use them all the time, but I don’t think people should stop buying books from our local bookstores. As someone who has three Maine books in print and available at fine bookstores everywhere, I admit that my thoughts on this particular money-saving tip might be biased, but I hope everyone agrees that it’s not an idea that should spread. Forget about health care, such ideas could be unhealthy for our fragile Maine economy.
Before you go nuts and stop buying books, I’d prefer to see you hook up with a friend and split a package of hair dye between you. Then take all the money you save and go buy a good book — I have at least three good titles I could recommend. Then put the rest of what you save toward your health care bills.
John McDonald, an author, humorist and storyteller who performs throughout New England, can be reached at mainestoryteller@yahoo.com.
Most Recent
Most Recent
Comments