August 30, 2004
FIRST PERSON: Confessions of a road warrior | Tips on flying the not-so-friendly skies, surviving airline food and avoiding expense account hell
By Skip King
Note to business travelers: don't. But if you must travel on business, only travel transatlantic.
And if you must travel transatlantic, don't fly Icelandair, unless your idea of a good time is leaving Boston at 9 p.m., waking up at 5 a.m. three hours later, changing planes and falling asleep for another 90 minutes, at which point it will be noon wherever you've just arrived. I know the numbers don't add up; Icelandair has managed to put the Twilight Zone on a 757. True: It's cheap, with the cleanest planes and most beautiful flight attendants in the world. But suffice to say that Iceland will never be the Next Big Thing, food-wise, and this lad does need his shuteye.
Even so, I prefer even Icelandair to most domestic carriers. Foreign airlines still treat you with some degree of respect, feed you something that doesn't taste like the airplane itself and give you a reasonable degree of comfort en route.
Of course, not everyone has to cross oceans for business. I've traveled in-state, in-country and in-hemisphere (northern), and I've learned a few things in the process.
Regardless of airline, don't click "purchase" until you know what kind of aircraft you'll be flying. More and more airlines are using small regional jets, or RJs, which are fine for a flight of an hour or so. But there are an increasing number of RJ flights lasting two hours or more. That's a long time to be eating your knees and competing for the center armrest. Most airline websites identify the type of aircraft a given flight uses, so check.
For short- to mid-range hops, there's a lot to be said for Boeing 717s and their predecessors, the MD80s, 88s and 90s. The three-and-two seating means that you're much more likely to get either a window or aisle seat and avoid being crammed in the middle.
Avoid routes including stops at Chicago O'Hare, unless that's your final destination. If it's not, O'Hare may end up being your final destination anyway. More than a third of the flights in and out of there are delayed; it's gotten so bad that the government is threatening to get jiggy with the schedules if the airlines don't do it themselves.
I've learned not to play Check-in Roulette, particularly in Portland, where the security people seem to be particularlyˆ ahemˆ thorough. I actually missed a flight recently despite showing up one hour and 40 minutes prior to departure, because the lines were so long. Adding insult to injury, the ramp agent ˆ didn't catch his name, but the initials of his airline are US Air ˆ berated me for not "entering the system" until 45 minutes prior to departure (somehow, it was my fault that there was only one flunkie working check-in). Nor would he let me on, despite the fact that the plane hadn't yet left the gate. Putz.
I probably shouldn't mention this, but I do like emergency exit rows. Exit rows rival the leg room up front, where the rich people sit. The seatbacks don't recline in exit rows, though, and the seats may be a bit narrower due to the fact that the tray tables are typically stored in the arm rest. Still, that extra legroom is a huge plus, even though I'm somewhat vertically challenged. Besides, he who panics first usually gets out alive.
The importance of the PowerBar
I make every effort to avoid working while en route, particularly if I'm doing a major time zone jump. Business travel is a great opportunity to catch up on reading or sleep, meet interesting people, even enjoy a (heavily edited) movie. It's private time where no one can disturb you. But if you must work en route, do yourself a favor and buy a power adapter for your computer. New generation airliners typically have power outputs to the seats, but you can't just plug your laptop into them. You need a special converter. They cost about $80 and are well worth it. Bonus: You can also use them to power your computer in your car, on a boat ˆ wherever there's a DC power source.
I like to carry a decent set of headphones, too. Lots of older planes still have those nasty plastic-hosed stethoscope-type thingies, but even those relics also have a headphone jack in the seat rest. I'm saving my pennies for a pair of those spiffy new Bose noise-canceling headphones. They don't muffle the sound ˆ they use active electronic circuitry to eliminate it (I could explain how, but that would be showing off).
Let's talk food. The good news is that most airports of decent size have a food court with a variety of food options. It's mostly chain stuff, but not always; for example, there's a neat little burrito joint in Concourse B of Denver International Airport that's surprisingly good. Even if you're limited to chains, you can still find passable food in most terminals, which is a good thing because the grub being flung in the planes has gone from bad to nonexistent. Or nearly so.
I had a tight connection in Atlanta recently, and didn't have time to grab something before boarding. Delta was selling their new "airborne deli" concept, or whateverinhell they call it, and it being noon after a long, breakfast-less flight (and with another three hours in the air ahead of me) I bought a sandwich from the airline.
Surprise! Not only was it the same lousy food that used to be included in the price of your ticket, it was expensive, too ˆ we're talking three-weeks-in-the-convenience-store-cooler quality, at New-York-theater-district prices. My suspicion: This is all some fiendish plot to eliminate the need for galleys on aircraft altogether, so they can rip out the stainless steel and add a bunch of new seats. At least those seats will be close to the lavatories. So I've learned to tuck a few PowerBars in my computer case. I don't like PowerBars, but believe me ˆ they taste better than inflight magazines.
There's not much you can do to make the airline experience more pleasant, but there is something you can do about ground transportation. Every major car rental company has a preferred customer "club," like Hertz's #1 Gold and Avis Preferred. It doesn't cost any more to rent the car, and the convenience ˆ particularly at larger airports ˆ is terrific. Skip the desk and go directly to the car, because the company has all your information on file. Easy in, easy out ˆ you're on your way. Even in smaller airports like Portland's, these programs save a lot of time and hassle. And the new GPS-powered onboard-navigation features are handy if you're visiting a city for the first time.
Hotel living sucks in my book. Depending on where you're going, you can sometimes find nice B&Bs close to wherever you're visiting. They're usually competitive in price with good chain hotels and much more pleasant. There's one I always use in Boulder, Colo., for example; it beats a hotel by a mile, because the owners live on the premises and actually care if I need something. I've stayed in another in which it was pretty clear the couple who owned it were "only staying together for the sake of the business." But what the hell. You never get high drama at a Marriott.
Whenever possible, figure out what the local food specialties are and find the joints that do it best. Most areas have them, and they're usually revelatory. It would be criminal to miss the crawfish etouffée on a trip to New Orleans, the fried chicken in Savannah, the fish tacos in San Diego, the steak and kidney pasties in London. They're all great, and you'll never find better anywhere else. On a trip to Houston a few years back, I surprised my business associates when I told them I wanted to go Mexican for lunch. To them, Mexican is ordinary and boring. Not for this New England boy ˆ and if anyone knows of a place where you can get goat fajitas in Maine, do let me know.
One more thing: Never stay anywhere your boss has stayed recently. And if you must do so, don't buy dirty movies on the Spectravision. You'll be found out when he or she reviews your expense report. For some reason, bosses always seem to know how much extra the hotels charge for the skin flicks, and offering to take a buck or two off the reimbursement claim doesn't seem to help.
Happy traveling.
Skip King is president of Reputation Strategies, a Portland-based strategic public relations and marketing communications firm. Contact him at editorial@mainebiz.biz
And if you must travel transatlantic, don't fly Icelandair, unless your idea of a good time is leaving Boston at 9 p.m., waking up at 5 a.m. three hours later, changing planes and falling asleep for another 90 minutes, at which point it will be noon wherever you've just arrived. I know the numbers don't add up; Icelandair has managed to put the Twilight Zone on a 757. True: It's cheap, with the cleanest planes and most beautiful flight attendants in the world. But suffice to say that Iceland will never be the Next Big Thing, food-wise, and this lad does need his shuteye.
Even so, I prefer even Icelandair to most domestic carriers. Foreign airlines still treat you with some degree of respect, feed you something that doesn't taste like the airplane itself and give you a reasonable degree of comfort en route.
Of course, not everyone has to cross oceans for business. I've traveled in-state, in-country and in-hemisphere (northern), and I've learned a few things in the process.
Regardless of airline, don't click "purchase" until you know what kind of aircraft you'll be flying. More and more airlines are using small regional jets, or RJs, which are fine for a flight of an hour or so. But there are an increasing number of RJ flights lasting two hours or more. That's a long time to be eating your knees and competing for the center armrest. Most airline websites identify the type of aircraft a given flight uses, so check.
For short- to mid-range hops, there's a lot to be said for Boeing 717s and their predecessors, the MD80s, 88s and 90s. The three-and-two seating means that you're much more likely to get either a window or aisle seat and avoid being crammed in the middle.
Avoid routes including stops at Chicago O'Hare, unless that's your final destination. If it's not, O'Hare may end up being your final destination anyway. More than a third of the flights in and out of there are delayed; it's gotten so bad that the government is threatening to get jiggy with the schedules if the airlines don't do it themselves.
I've learned not to play Check-in Roulette, particularly in Portland, where the security people seem to be particularlyˆ ahemˆ thorough. I actually missed a flight recently despite showing up one hour and 40 minutes prior to departure, because the lines were so long. Adding insult to injury, the ramp agent ˆ didn't catch his name, but the initials of his airline are US Air ˆ berated me for not "entering the system" until 45 minutes prior to departure (somehow, it was my fault that there was only one flunkie working check-in). Nor would he let me on, despite the fact that the plane hadn't yet left the gate. Putz.
I probably shouldn't mention this, but I do like emergency exit rows. Exit rows rival the leg room up front, where the rich people sit. The seatbacks don't recline in exit rows, though, and the seats may be a bit narrower due to the fact that the tray tables are typically stored in the arm rest. Still, that extra legroom is a huge plus, even though I'm somewhat vertically challenged. Besides, he who panics first usually gets out alive.
The importance of the PowerBar
I make every effort to avoid working while en route, particularly if I'm doing a major time zone jump. Business travel is a great opportunity to catch up on reading or sleep, meet interesting people, even enjoy a (heavily edited) movie. It's private time where no one can disturb you. But if you must work en route, do yourself a favor and buy a power adapter for your computer. New generation airliners typically have power outputs to the seats, but you can't just plug your laptop into them. You need a special converter. They cost about $80 and are well worth it. Bonus: You can also use them to power your computer in your car, on a boat ˆ wherever there's a DC power source.
I like to carry a decent set of headphones, too. Lots of older planes still have those nasty plastic-hosed stethoscope-type thingies, but even those relics also have a headphone jack in the seat rest. I'm saving my pennies for a pair of those spiffy new Bose noise-canceling headphones. They don't muffle the sound ˆ they use active electronic circuitry to eliminate it (I could explain how, but that would be showing off).
Let's talk food. The good news is that most airports of decent size have a food court with a variety of food options. It's mostly chain stuff, but not always; for example, there's a neat little burrito joint in Concourse B of Denver International Airport that's surprisingly good. Even if you're limited to chains, you can still find passable food in most terminals, which is a good thing because the grub being flung in the planes has gone from bad to nonexistent. Or nearly so.
I had a tight connection in Atlanta recently, and didn't have time to grab something before boarding. Delta was selling their new "airborne deli" concept, or whateverinhell they call it, and it being noon after a long, breakfast-less flight (and with another three hours in the air ahead of me) I bought a sandwich from the airline.
Surprise! Not only was it the same lousy food that used to be included in the price of your ticket, it was expensive, too ˆ we're talking three-weeks-in-the-convenience-store-cooler quality, at New-York-theater-district prices. My suspicion: This is all some fiendish plot to eliminate the need for galleys on aircraft altogether, so they can rip out the stainless steel and add a bunch of new seats. At least those seats will be close to the lavatories. So I've learned to tuck a few PowerBars in my computer case. I don't like PowerBars, but believe me ˆ they taste better than inflight magazines.
There's not much you can do to make the airline experience more pleasant, but there is something you can do about ground transportation. Every major car rental company has a preferred customer "club," like Hertz's #1 Gold and Avis Preferred. It doesn't cost any more to rent the car, and the convenience ˆ particularly at larger airports ˆ is terrific. Skip the desk and go directly to the car, because the company has all your information on file. Easy in, easy out ˆ you're on your way. Even in smaller airports like Portland's, these programs save a lot of time and hassle. And the new GPS-powered onboard-navigation features are handy if you're visiting a city for the first time.
Hotel living sucks in my book. Depending on where you're going, you can sometimes find nice B&Bs close to wherever you're visiting. They're usually competitive in price with good chain hotels and much more pleasant. There's one I always use in Boulder, Colo., for example; it beats a hotel by a mile, because the owners live on the premises and actually care if I need something. I've stayed in another in which it was pretty clear the couple who owned it were "only staying together for the sake of the business." But what the hell. You never get high drama at a Marriott.
Whenever possible, figure out what the local food specialties are and find the joints that do it best. Most areas have them, and they're usually revelatory. It would be criminal to miss the crawfish etouffée on a trip to New Orleans, the fried chicken in Savannah, the fish tacos in San Diego, the steak and kidney pasties in London. They're all great, and you'll never find better anywhere else. On a trip to Houston a few years back, I surprised my business associates when I told them I wanted to go Mexican for lunch. To them, Mexican is ordinary and boring. Not for this New England boy ˆ and if anyone knows of a place where you can get goat fajitas in Maine, do let me know.
One more thing: Never stay anywhere your boss has stayed recently. And if you must do so, don't buy dirty movies on the Spectravision. You'll be found out when he or she reviews your expense report. For some reason, bosses always seem to know how much extra the hotels charge for the skin flicks, and offering to take a buck or two off the reimbursement claim doesn't seem to help.
Happy traveling.
Skip King is president of Reputation Strategies, a Portland-based strategic public relations and marketing communications firm. Contact him at editorial@mainebiz.biz
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