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Kym Dakin-Neal
Updated: January 15, 2025
How to ask for a raise (and make a case for why you're worth it)
By Kym Dakin-Neal, Voice Into Learning LLC
My client Amber’s face is tense as she glances away from the computer screen.
"I need a raise," she says. “I just don’t know how to ask for one."
Amber has been here before. Skilled and competent, she leads high-stakes projects that gain considerable acclaim, but she hasn’t had a raise in three years.
She’s reached out to me for help in asking for the income she deserves.
I ask, “What stands in the way of asking for a raise, Amber?”
“I guess I just don’t have much faith that this company sees my value,” she replies.
Amber’s response reflects a common mindset: focusing on external obstacles. It’s easy to point to an unsupportive company, tight budgets, hyper-competitive colleagues, or other circumstances as barriers. While these factors are real, this perspective limits actionable solutions. I need to reframe the question; “What needs to change in order for you to get a raise?”
This shift will encourage Amber to consider her mindset, actions, and professional decisions. As her coach, my role is to guide her toward intentional steps. One effective strategy is scaffolding.
What Is scaffolding in decision making?
Scaffolding provides structured, temporary support to help individuals make sound decisions. Similar to construction scaffolding, it provides focus on core challenges while addressing weak points. For Amber, scaffolding will break the process into manageable steps, clarify goals and build connections with allies in the organization. The structure includes tools like feedback loops, stress-reduction techniques, mindset coaching, and access to data and resources.
Scaffolding encourages self-reflection, alignment with goals, and reduces anxiety and bias. It’s particularly helpful in high-stakes situations — like asking for a raise — where the outcome can significantly affect one’s career. Over time, the scaffolding is removed, leaving Amber with the skills and confidence to handle similar challenges independently.
Actionable steps
Build self-awareness and reframe assumptions. Reflect on your beliefs about your workplace value. Are negative assumptions, such as fears of rejection or feeling undervalued, holding you back?
Reframe these beliefs to focus on your strengths, accomplishments, and contributions. This shift lays the foundation for successful advocacy.
Gather evidence to support your case. Document your achievements, including specific contributions, completed projects, and measurable outcomes that highlight your impact. Research industry standards for compensation in your role and region to establish a fair benchmark. Collect feedback from colleagues, clients, or supervisors that underscores your value to the organization.
Create a scaffolding strategy. Break the process into smaller, manageable steps: prepare talking points, organize supporting evidence, and identify potential allies within the organization. Build connections with mentors or colleagues who can offer guidance or advocate on your behalf. Use feedback loops to refine your case — seek input from trusted individuals to strengthen your approach.
Practice and build confidence. Role-play the conversation with a trusted friend, mentor, or coach to practice articulating your request clearly and confidently. Incorporate stress-reduction techniques like mindfulness or deep breathing to manage anxiety. Use feedback from practice sessions to refine your delivery and anticipate possible objections.
Approach the conversation with a strategy. Choose the right time for the discussion, such as during a performance review or after completing a major project. Present your case positively, focusing on the value you bring to the organization rather than comparisons to others. Be prepared for different outcomes. If your request is denied, ask for actionable feedback on how you can improve and revisit the conversation in the future.
The power of scaffolding
With this tool, Amber can dismantle negative assumptions, clarify goals, and build confidence to navigate complex processes like asking for a raise. The structure of this approach can transforms decision-making into a step-by-step process, reducing overwhelm and promoting success.
Ultimately, scaffolding doesn’t just help secure a raise — it empowers individuals to advocate for themselves with independence and resilience. With self-awareness, preparation, and support, anyone can transform “I don’t know how” into “I’m ready to take action.”
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