Kym Dakin-Neal
1 hour ago
How To
How the way you use your voice can help you communicate more effectively
By Kym Dakin-Neal, Voice Into Learning LLC
My new client walked through the door. As soon as she started speaking to me I knew immediately why she was seeking help.
Shelby, a 25-year-old computer analyst, had an impressive resume and strong credentials, yet her job search so far had gotten her only a few interviews and nothing after. “What am I doing wrong?” she asked.
I noted as she was speaking, that almost every line ending was “hooked” upward, as if each sentence were a question rather than a statement. You probably know a young person — and I would bet money they are female — with this self-limiting vocal pattern.
I gently suggested we begin Shelby’s coaching program with focus on her vocal delivery. For women in particular, intentional and strategic use of voice can go a distance to narrowing the “status gap” between genders in team meetings as well as presentations.
We are a visual culture: video games, movies, i-everything. It’s easy to lose connection with other parts of our sensory experience, because we habitually rely so completely on what we see.
This dependence on visuals to convey information is so widespread that the way the human voice effects us may become part of our unconscious. And if it resides there, we may not be cognizant of how voices play on us, or of how we can powerfully amplify our own presence through strategic use of voice.
It can be fun to increase your capacity for awareness of your own voice, and that of others.
What is the nature of your vocal impression? Can you strengthen it the same way you strengthen a handshake? Absolutely!
Try these experiments:
- Listen to someone speaking, in person or on some device — and see if you can discern what is being communicated beneath the words, rather than the words themselves. Not easy is it? If you become aware of whatever emotional quality is in the voice, see if that quality is congruent or in sync with the content. If you pick up a discrepancy, you may want to question the truth of what you’re being told.
- Speak this short sentence aloud: “I look forward to finding out more about that." Now speak it emphasizing the consonants — notice how this shifts your vocal energy. Consonants are useful for setting vocal boundaries and letting the listener know exactly what they need to pay attention to. They are like line drawings in a painting — they clearly define auditory space.
- Now try to over-emphasize the vowels in that same sentence. See if this causes you to use more of your vocal range: higher and lower notes in your voice. How does that make you feel? Vowels can help us “color” our speech, the same way pastels or watercolors add color to a canvas.
I worked with Shelby for six months. The first three months was focused on the impression she made with her voice. We worked to neutralize faulty breathing patterns, and I encouraged her to become aware of the many different kinds of voices she used in daily life.
We worked on getting her to place her voice in her lower register and to ground that with solar plexus breathing. We worked on getting her to slow down. We also explored some of the beliefs and problematic mindset saboteurs Shelby was lugging around that resulted in reduced confidence.
Towards the end of our time together, Shelby came to her session with a huge grin on her face. I knew that she had had an interview with a prestigious law firm the week before and I was so hopeful that she had nailed it.
“I got an offer!” The words burst out of her with such joy and relief that we both got a little bit teary.
I was honored to be able to help Shelby more clearly find voice for her proven and formidable competence — and to send her on her way to even greater professional rewards!
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