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Michelle Philbrook
July 22, 2019
Business Resources
How to manage a business with your spouse
By Chris and Michelle Philbrook
Chris Phillbrook
When you tell someone that you work with your spouse, most people will say, “Wow, that’s so great that you can do that!” And then they’ll tell you how, if they had to work with their husband, wife or partner, they’d kill each other. “But good for you!”
For us, fortunately, it has been pretty good. In 2012, Michelle started her own copywriting and multimedia marketing business called Mishmash; and a couple years later, Chris opened a separate PR firm called Philbrook PR. Over the past few years, our businesses have merged into one — first by proxy, filling in for each other here and there, then by proximity (we rented office spaces next door to each other). This year, we made it official, joining up our operations and our books, while retaining Chris’s brand as a DBA (he didn’t want to give up his name!).
Here’s what both “marriages,” as well as some friends we’ve consulted along the way, have taught us about working with your spouse:
Give each other space
Rusty and Patricia Brewer spent 30 years at the helm of their business, M.R. Brewer Fine Woodworking, Rusty in the shop and out on job sites and Pat managing the finances and operations. “I didn’t know how to do what Rusty did, and he didn’t know how to do what I did,” Pat told us. “What worked for us was just knowing who was doing what and when and why, and then letting the other person take care of it.”
Ben Waxman and his wife Whitney Reynolds, who co-own American Roots, a manufacturer of 100% American-made apparel, concur. “We try to stay in our lanes,” said Ben, “but we’re also careful not to make decisions that affect the overall company without communicating that to the other person and making the decision together.”
For us, as long as we avoid a lot of direct collaboration, we stay in great shape (this article was tough).
Bring your wife lunch
When we couldn’t agree on all the points to include in this column, Chris did a really smart thing — he ordered a BBQ salad from Noble, extra pickled veggies, and left to go pick it up.
He learned this one from Michelle’s dad. Tim and Marie Flaherty founded their business, the Flaherty Group, in 1987, and when Chris asked Tim how they’ve made it work all these years, he downplayed his role — “I’m just a gofer around here — I put up the signs and lockboxes, go to Town Hall, make sure she eats lunch,” he said. “She makes the deals.” He was being humble — there’s a lot more to it — but Marie does agree that his day-to-day support is essential to her success, allowing her to be more present with clients and meet the many deadlines on her plate.
Like mother, like daughter. And we’re also much kinder when fed, so the guys win too.
Confession: We talk business at the dinner table. And at breakfast. And on dates.
Give up the balancing act, and embrace the work-life blend
Confession: We talk business at the dinner table. And at breakfast. And on dates. Different aspects of it are always on both of our minds, and we want to talk about it because we care about it. But you know who doesn’t always care? Our 8-year-old daughter, Lily. So when she’s around, we try to table any work conversations unless she can participate in them (which she loves to do). But beyond that, we accept the lack of a line between work and home. To us, it’s all just life.
Know your relationship
Working with your spouse is not for everyone. The way you treat each other at home will spill over to the office, so ask yourself: do you support each other, give each other space, and forgive each other’s imperfections at home? If not, that’s okay! May the healthy distance of separate workplaces make your hearts grow fonder.
Chris and Michelle Philbrook are co-owners of Mishmash Marketing and Philbrook PR in Westbrook. They can be reached at michelle@mishmashmaine.com or chris@philbrookpr.com
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