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Curiosity is the opposite of fear. You hear that love is the opposite but in actual experience, love is too big a stretch. Lots of us can claim we “love” teenagers, truck drivers or old hippies, but in that context, the L word is almost meaningless.
Genuine curiosity on the other hand, feels much more like love’s qualities in action. Curiosity starts from a place of mutual regard — this person’s ideas, values, responses are worth eliciting.
Our resistance to doing this because it takes too much time is a primary obstacle to talking through differences, eliciting your team’s creativity, or simply encountering others in a mutually respectful way. Enough of this resistance compounding into a culture and we end up with family fracture, silo’d workplaces, disengaged employees and the election season circus we just endured ... so many of us shocked and awed at all the rage.
That degree of anger and blame can only happen when we lose the ability as a country to be truly curious about the “other," whatever that term may mean for us.
Think about the last time someone showed genuine curiosity about you or something you were involved in. How did it make you feel to have someone ask you a question that demanded more than just a quick, glib answer?
Recently, I had a first session with a new client. She asked me how I knew I was doing work that was right for me. I had to slow down and tune in to her question and and once I did, the answer that arrived surprised us both: Coaching is one of the few professional instances where I feel myself slow down enough to be fully present.
The benefits of curiosity in our working world appear to be many. In fact, active curiosity may go a distance to balance out a lack of content expertise in hiring practice.
Working relationships obviously improve with genuine expressions of curiosity and also help to quickly develop trust — even between coworkers at a great geographic distance. Curiosity would appear to be key as well in bridging the gaps in understanding and expertise in a multigenerational workplace.
In fact, If we don’t intentionally create opportunities to connect with and experience the reality of those we consider “others" the true benefits of diversity will never happen. This starts with curiosity.
But how can you as a business leader encourage more genuine curiosity in your workplace?
A few deceptively simple ideas:
Ask open-ended questions. These will stimulate deeper thinking and exploration. Instead of those that require simple "yes" or "no" answers, ask questions that require elaboration, such as "What challenges do you see in this project?" or "What solutions can we brainstorm together?"
Model continuous learning. Share what you're curious about or any new skills you're working to develop. Leaders who show they are genuinely curious and intentionally learning themselves can set the example for others to do the same.
Create a safe space for ideas. Establish an environment where people feel comfortable sharing ideas, questions, ambiguity and opinions without fear of judgment. Celebrate attempts and experiments, even if they don't succeed, to promote a culture where curiosity is rewarded.
Encourage diverse perspectives. Bring together team members from different backgrounds and experiences to discuss projects and problems. Emphasize the value of varied viewpoints and actively seek input from team members who may not always speak up.
Prioritize time for exploration. Allocate specific times during the workweek for team members to pursue creative projects, learn new topics, or investigate areas related to their work that spark their interest. This promotes a culture of curiosity and gives people the time and freedom to explore and innovate.
Implementing these strategies can help leaders make curiosity an integral and authentic element of their workplace culture, for the benefit of all.
Kym Dakin-Neal is director of Voice Into Learning LLC and a certified coach specializing in effective communications. She works successfully with clients in transition: newly promoted employees, empty-nesters, those weighing their second act, entrepreneurs pitching new products. Kym also helps train physicians in productive listening and patient communication at Maine Health and Kaiser Permanente. She has developed and sold a bookmarking app called Nugget to eliminate the need to take notes in online meetings. Her book, “Head Heart & Hands Listening in Coach Practice,” was released in 2023 through Routledge Publishers of London. She can be reached at kdakin56@gmail.com.
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