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April 30, 2018 Ask ACE

The problem isn't so much conflict, as it is knowing how to deal with it constructively

Q. What to do when conflict shows its ugly face?

ACE Advises: The problem isn't that conflict is showing up, but that we may not know how to deal constructively with it when it does appear.

Conflict can mean people are thinking about your organization's problems or opportunities, and have found different visions of what might work. That can be an exciting opening to a lively visioning session.

Or conflict might mean personal disagreements that may have been eroding work relationships are finally coming out of the closet. What an opportunity that is to name them (probably in private), invite some sharing and healing, and all get back to work with energy, trust, and comfort.

There's a game to teach conflict management called Shift/POV, produced by Kym Dakin of Voice Into Learning. POV stands for Point of View, a card game using exercises in shifting our points of view to seek conflict resolution.

It's productive to contemplate this mandate — that we shift our point of view — even if we're playing the game, but especially if we're not.

Consider this story:

Susan, head of systems development, is always “tweaking” the customer service computer screens to make them more friendly, powerful and informative.

Meanwhile, Gena, managing the customer service group, is frustrated with the flood of small changes that come unannounced, leaving so many of her employees challenged, trying to use a system that keeps changing.

Once Susan and Gena share their points of view with an eye to finding a mutual solution, they are on the way to ending the conflict.

Arthur Fink, principal at Arthur Fink Consulting, can be contacted at ArthurFink@ArthurFink.com

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