PR maven Nancy Marcshall
Updated: 3 hours ago
A Look Back: Hug or a handshake? A Mainebiz columnist spelled out the etiquette
PR expert Nancy Marshall is a longtime columnist for Mainebiz, going back more than a decade. She has a lively voice and an infectious enthusiasm that translates well to columns that offer advice on branding, marketing and social media. Over the years, she’s written more than 100 columns for Mainebiz.
Topics have included, “How Maine’s small businesses can turn crisis into opportunity,” “How to stand out in a sea of sameness” and “How to avoid overcommitment and get more enjoyment out of life” (written with collaborator Ann Leamon).
Nancy’s real superpower is offering suggestions about how to navigate workplace communication — the everyday words and gestures that can make or break a company’s internal culture.
In 2017, she proposed writing a column on the seemingly simple art of greeting a colleague or business acquaintance after a long interval.
Would it be a hug or a handshake?
When the column came out in February 2018, the #metoo movement was in full force, as Nancy acknowledged.
“We’re reading every day about harassment in the workplace and #metoo. You may be wondering how to apply that to your company and workplace,” she wrote.
“That often translates to questions about whether it’s appropriate to hug co-workers, clients, employees and or professional acquaintances. It’s no wonder many of us are dusting off our handshaking skills.”
Nancy counseled to “err on the conservative side. Men should extend a hand warmly, and if the other person wants to hug, that’s fine. If you do not want to hug, keep your hand extended, smiling all the time. That will send a signal that all you want is a handshake and no more physical contact … If you are going to initiate a hug, allow some space.”
If unsure, ask.
Earlier this year, she revisited the “hug or handshake” theme, and how greetings have changed since the pandemic.
“You may be comfortable hugging friends, but the same rules do not apply for hugging colleagues or clients at work. Understanding the nuances of hugging etiquette at work is crucial,” she wrote.
“Err on the side of caution if uncertain about hugging a colleague. Try alternatives like a high five, fist bump or verbal acknowledgment to avoid potential discomfort.”
Whatever you do, she warned, “exercise caution when considering hugging your subordinates, as the power dynamic can complicate such interactions. Stick to professional gestures like handshakes to maintain boundaries. In other words, it’s best not to hug subordinates. I believe that HR professionals would agree with me.”
When in doubt “about hugging someone,” she concluded, “seek explicit permission to avoid potential discomfort. Respect their response, whether affirmative or negative.”
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