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Mike Stair, of Practical Decisions
Updated: October 8, 2024
Strategic planning for consultants: The art of mastering the obvious
By Mike Stair
Ah, strategic planning. Those magical words that consultants love to drop into every conversation. They’re the secret sauce, the golden goose, the reason your emails get opened.
But if you’ve been in the consulting game for longer than 15 minutes, you’ll know that “strategic planning” often involves a lot of high-level thinking, copious amounts of coffee, and at least three whiteboards. (Four if you’re charging by the hour.)
But let’s not kid ourselves. Strategic planning is basically the art of telling people what they should already know, in a way that makes them feel they didn’t. It’s a delicate balance of stating the obvious while making it sound like wisdom that comes from years of consulting sorcery.
Here’s how to master it.
The icebreaker: “Where do you see yourself in five years?"
The classic. Start your session by throwing out this question. This sets the tone for the meeting, giving you time to sip your coffee and nod thoughtfully as your client tries to avoid answering.
In reality, no one knows where they’ll be in five years. But as a consultant, it’s your job to give them an answer so good, they’ll believe it.
Use words like “growth trajectory,” “scalable opportunities,” and “pivot points” to keep them on their toes. If you’re feeling particularly daring, throw in “blue ocean strategy” for fun. It’s like tossing a frisbee into a boardroom — exhilarating and unpredictable.
The SWOT analysis: AKA stating the obvious, elegantly
Here’s where things get fun. SWOT stands for Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats. To the untrained eye, it looks like a simple breakdown of things that are working well and things that aren’t.
But to the consultant, this is where the magic happens.
Strengths? Tell them their team is their biggest asset. Weaknesses? Lack of focus, obviously. Opportunities? The market is ripe for disruption. Threats? Always “the competition” or “market volatility.” Boom, you just SWOT’d the heck out of that.
Pro tip: If you’re stumped, just point to something on the whiteboard and say, “Have you thought about this as both a strength and a threat?” Trust me, they’ll think you’re a genius.
Vision statements: The more vague the better
Once you’ve dropped enough buzzwords to fill a bingo card, it’s time to craft a vision statement. This is where you pull everything together in one gloriously vague sentence that somehow inspires everyone to keep paying you.
Remember: The more generic, the better. “To become a leader in our industry, providing innovative solutions while fostering a culture of excellence” is a perfectly acceptable vision statement. It means absolutely nothing, but sounds aspirational.
Bonus points if you can include words like “synergy” or “ecosystem.” Never underestimate the power of corporate doublespeak to make folks think you’re onto something big.
Gantt charts: When in doubt, chart it out
At some point, someone is going to say, “But how do we implement this?” This is your cue to whip out a Gantt chart, a wonderful tool that shows tasks and timelines in a way no one will question.
Plot a few arbitrary milestones, extend a few timelines by at least six months (because let’s be honest, nothing ever happens on time), and watch the room nod in agreement.
It doesn’t matter that no one will ever look at this again — it’s the act of creating it that counts. It says, “I am a serious consultant who knows how to make plans that look impressive.”
The wrap-up: Leave them wanting more (of your billable hours)
As the session draws to a close, it’s time to remind your clients that strategic planning is a “living document.” This means you’ll need to revisit it regularly (preferably at your hourly rate) to “adjust for changing market conditions.”
Make sure to leave behind a beautifully bound strategic plan, complete with graphs, charts, and at least one inspirational quote about leadership. That way, even if your client never reads it, they’ll still feel like they got their money’s worth.
Conclusion: Keep it strategic, keep it vague
Strategic planning is an art form. It’s a blend of big-picture thinking and PowerPoint wizardry, where the goal is to tell your clients what they should already know, but in a way that convinces them they need you to tell them. Forever.
So, stay vague, stay confident, and always, always keep a Gantt chart handy. After all, the future of your consulting career depends on it. Well, at least for the next five years. Or until the next pivot point.
Just in case you've made it this far without picking up on the tone, this was satire. Any resemblance to reality is purely coincidental — or maybe just a reflection of the crazy world of consulting and strategy development. Either way, rest assured that the exaggerations, contradictions and ridiculous statements are all part of the fun and fundamentals of strategy development.
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