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Updated: April 20, 2025 How To

Rules of engagement: How to build rapport with your employees

Nancy Marshall and Ann Leamon Photos / Tim Greenway Nancy Marshall, left, and Ann Leamon are regular contributors to Mainebiz.

Everywhere you look, experts tell you that workforce engagement is critical for success in terms of everything from increased product quality to reduced absenteeism. But how do you build engagement? 

Ann stumbled on part of the answer when she was researching a call center in Atlanta. The firm did highly technical cold calls for firms like Dun & Bradstreet. The employees did tedious work that required close attention to detail and high production.

How, Ann asked, did the management find these individuals — most of whom were people of color from disadvantaged backgrounds? 

The managers said it was simple. They required only three things of their staff: Come to work. Come to work on time. Come to work ready to work (with a good attitude). Then, the company said, “We’ll teach you the rest.” 

To make it work, the company focused on meeting their employees “where they were,” as demonstrated by the site manager. This gentleman could have worked 9 to 5, sitting in his office and handling contracts and complaints.

Instead, he greeted the workers every morning when they started their 8 a.m. shifts — and brought them a cup of coffee, prepared as they preferred. Black, black with milk and one sugar, with three sugars, and so on … he had memorized their coffee preferences like your favorite barista. And he was their boss. 

Ann asked how he found time for this.

”I’m a morning person,” he said. “I’m here anyway. And my team has long drives in bad traffic. Many of them are single parents, getting their kids off to school. I don’t want them worried about getting their coffee. So, I have it ready for them. It’s a chance for us to check in and shows I care about each as an individual.”

Think about that for a minute. How often do you let your employees know that you think about them as an individual? 

Forging connections

Nancy wrote earlier about how she sends personal thank-you notes to her employees. Other experts, including New York Times writer David Brooks, have written about how we humans “want to feel seen.” How can you not feel connected to a company when your boss knows how you take your coffee? 

This company’s mantra — "Come to work. Come to work on time. Come to work ready to work" — is extremely powerful. Ann’s husband was having difficulty retaining staff at his custom metal-working factory. She told him about the call center’s mantra. 

Once he tried that approach, his engagement issues subsided. If people came to work, on time and with a good attitude, good things happened. They learned. Quality improved. They focused on the right things. The company followed through on its part of the bargain by providing training, working out challenges and supplying the right technology. But the staff was ready to receive them. 

A vivid example was Bill. The company was desperate for workers who could follow directions and create parts. Bill worked in a Dunkin’ Donuts and was desperate for a better career. But, he said, “I’m not a metal worker. I just make lattes.” 

The boss said, “But you follow a process. You make the coffee, heat the milk, add whatever sweetening. Come to work, on time and ready to learn. We’ll teach you.” Within a year, Bill was running the company’s most complicated machine. He brought the attitude, they taught him the skills. 

Yes, this is a leap of faith on both sides. The employee must be open to learning (and coming to work on time). The employer must trust that the employee will learn these skills. But feeling trusted is powerful. Meeting employees where they are — supplying their coffee at their workstations — makes them feel seen and valued. People who feel seen and valued feel engaged with their companies. 

Mutual respect 

Many of you undoubtedly recall times when you did not feel valued. One of Ann’s employers introduced a Total Quality Management program. Remember those? Sitting in the introductory meeting, she asked whether any of her team’s recommendations would actually be implemented.

The answer specified that recommendations would be considered — as long as they didn’t conflict with the company’s received wisdom. No breakthroughs emerged from that project. 

Engagement is a game of mutuality. Each side needs to feel heard and respected.

All the coffee in the world won’t matter if I don’t feel respected. If I’m not at work on time with a good attitude, my coffee will get cold on my desk. True engagement requires a shared commitment. But it doesn’t take much, and the benefits can be substantial.
 

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